Top ten signs you’ve spent too much money on Christmas presents

Direct from my home office in snow-swept Corn Borer, Indiana, I have in my bright red mitten: Top ten signs you’ve spent too much money on Christmas presents

10. Your letter carrier develops a hernia delivering your Visa bill.

9. Your new computer has more RAM than Microsoft headquarters.

8. The Federal government is offering you a bailout.

7. You’ve taken out a second mortgage to pay for the “Nuclear-powered 3-D Brain Blaster” video game system.

6. A guy named “Nick the Kneecap” keeps calling you at 3 a.m.

5. You spend all your time away from the office or assembly line asking, “Do you want fries with that?”

4. You use cardboard boxes, wrapping paper, and computer manuals to heat your home.

3. The Ghost of Christmas Future reveals your family living at a homeless shelter, but—hey—of all the people there, your family is the best dressed.

2. Your children are being sponsored by a Zambian orphan.

1. You’ve forgotten the true reason for the season.

Wishing you and your family a generous Christmas!

Copyright © 1997, 2008 James N. Watkins